Why Did God Create Sex Part 2: How can you enjoy more yeses in the bedroom??

Whether you are a frustrated young Dad who just desperately wants to connect with his young bride, or you are a Wife who is trying to get your Husband's attention amidst all the distractions of his profession, this message is for you.

There were times where we fought and struggled with our sex life. Just like a lot of couples out there we got married then jumped into family life. Babies, buy a home, career changes, climbing the corporate ladder. Then the stress of owning businesses, financial stress, kids acting up. You name it, we've used it as a reason not to connect sexually. It wasn't until last year we discovered a lot of truth about Sex and how amazing it can be. It only took us 12 years but that's okay we got it now and we continue to learn more every day! We hope that we can help you in your marriage right now whether you're newly weds or seasoned Husbands and Wives. Married sex can truly become something you both look forward to instead of something you dread. It can become a "get to" instead of a "have to."

We will step out and be bold to say that God wants you to say Yes to Sex more! Yes that's right, we did say that. This verse sums it up, 1 Corinthians 7: vs 4-5 says: The Wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her Husband. In the same way, the Husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his Wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self control. (NIV)

That verse is a challenge for a lot of couples struggling in this area, and it should be. We shouldn't just skim over it and say to ourselves, "Well that isn't talking about young Moms, can't you see I'm exhausted?" or the Husband who is stressed to the max with financial struggles and says: "You don't understand, its hard to even think about being intimate when I'm so focused on the pressure of work and finances. My Boss is breathing down my neck constantly and so is the Mortage company."

We desperately want to see your marriage succeed and it starts with saying yes to the person that you are committed to experiencing life with. We are going to give you some practical ideas on how to get more yeses and on the flip side if you are struggling, then how to say yes more often.

1. For the young Dads out there, she is most likely exhausted. She may be waking up to feed the baby still, staying at home to take care of your kids and most kids don't really pour into your wife they take from her. So when we come home and sit on the couch, and don't engage with the kids or her, then of course she really isn't into us. Our wives need connection time, then need to warm up to us. In the great book, The Language of Sex, by Dr Gary Smlley and Ted Cunningham. They talk about how to have great Sex! It starts with Honor, which leads to security, then leads to intimacy, which leads to Sex. So for you young Dads, Honor your wife by playing with the kids, offer to take a feeding from her out of a bottle in the night and let her sleep. Spend time with her with you first walk in the door. Allow her to take a bath or read a book while you tuck the kids in bed. The more you Honor her, the more it will lead to great Sex!

2. For the Wife who is trying to get her Husband's attention. If the equation is true that Honor leads to security, which leads to intimacy, which leads to Sex then lets start with Honor for your Husband. Do you Honor him with your words? Do you thank him for working hard? Proverbs 12 vs 18 says "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." Proverbs 21:19 Says "It it better to live in a desert than with quarrelsome wife." If you build him up for working hard it will be like manna for his soul. Another thing you can do to Honor your Husband is how you speak about him to your friends. Are you constantly degrading him or building him up. You can ask him what helps him feel honored. Maybe its cooking for him, maybe its going and doing something with him that he likes. Whatever it might be, try it and see how his heart will begin to change. At all costs though refrain from negative talk especially when he makes mistakes. He doesn't need to be reminded or beat up for making a mistake.

3. Date Night! Regardless of the situation you are in, are you dating each other?? We are all busy, but are you making time to intentionally connect without kids interrupting? Are you Honoring each other with your full presence? Looking into each others eyes while you ask each other questions about what makes each other tick. Honoring each other as a priority speaks volumes and will definitely lead to better and more Sex! There is nothing better than having a great date together and coming home to passionate love making, the lack of sleep is so worth it!!

4. If you're struggling to say yes to Sex. First of all Pray. Pray that God will ignite your passion for your spouse. If you are snuggling with addiction, past hurts, unforgivness or even past sexual abuse, ask God to reveal those areas to you so you can receive healing and help from a counselor or coach if necessary. Remember your commitment. You said I do to this wonderful person, and God wants you to be blessed in your sexuality together. God created you and your spouse and he created Sex. It says in His word that everything that he created was good. That means you, your marriage, your spouse and yes sex with your spouse is good. He wants to bless you with amazing Married Sex!