Why did God create Sex?? (why do we make it so dang hard?) Part 1: Sanctification

Today happens to be our oldest Son's birthday! What a day to reflect on the wonderful gift that God has given us in physical intimacy in a marriage relationship. Without the wonderful gift of intimacy we wouldn't be blessed with our wonderful family!

As we journey through this life of peaks and valleys, we lose hope and want to throw in the towel. We want to give up being married, opting for the "easy" road. We think it would be easier not to have to answer to anyone else. Not to have to serve anyone, be disappointed, rely on someone else to meet our needs. We've been there, especially in sexual intimacy.

Johnna and I were created so differently and at times it has created tension in our marriage. We have been on a purposeful journey of discovery in the realm of sexual intimacy in our marriage for a little over a year and we would like to share with you some things we've learned in our own hearts that we pray will bless your marriage.

Part 1: (Sanctification)

Before you can experience true sexual intimacy, you need to Sanctify your marriage and your spouse. The word sanctify is literally defined as setting apart something or to cleanse it make it holy. Is your marriage set apart? Is your husband or wife set apart in your heart? Is your marriage set apart? In other words are you putting your marriage first? Are you putting your spouse first?

This was a very convicting question for us 2 years ago. We had been married for 11 years at that point and things were going well, at least we thought. We were just doing the day to day things that most married couples do. I was busy being an entrepreneur to provide the best lifestyle possible for our family and Johnna was taking care of the kids and starting a business of her own. We loved each other don't get me wrong, we just didn't have Passion for each other. We weren't set apart in our hearts. We didn't aspire to be great at being Husband/Wife. Who does that? We are supposed to be great Dads/Moms, entrepreneurs, employees, followers of Christ but Husband or Wife? Wasn't even on our radar. We were getting our needs met from other relationships/endeavors instead of each other. Don't get me wrong we were not involved in aldulterous relationships but in our hearts we weren't relying on each other.

We believe that this has to be a focus for a truly intimate, successful marriage. God chose to create us for a need for intimacy with him and from each other. He chose to create us in his image and longs to be in relationship with us. In Genesis 2: 20-25 NIV He created Eve from Adam. It says "no suitable helper was found" That amazes me. Adam had everything, He even walked with God in the Garden. But God knew that something was still missing. So he blessed him with a marriage. He sanctified his Bride, Eve. He set it apart so they could be "fruitful and multiply." If we weren't meant to be married and rely on each other then why would he have done that?

God is so good, that he painted a picture for us all through scripture of what this means.

1 Corinthians 11: 8-12 NIV, says that "Woman is not independent from Man nor is Man independent of Woman." Wow we really need each don't we.

So heres our suggestion to help start the process of restoring if you are struggling in the area of sexual intimacy. Or if this area of your marriage is strong then we can always get better right? Set each other apart in your hearts. Guys, open the door of your heart to your bride and let her fill your heart with devotion for her. Then lock the door and give her the only key. Take down the images of other women in your life. Whether they are on your walls or on your computer, put them in the trash and seal the doorway to your heart to only your bride. Ladies, find that door marked Groom and you do the same, take down the idols of romance novels, and friendships that replace intimacy with him. Seal the door to anyone or anything other than him.

Song of Solomon 2:2 NIV "Like a lily among thorns is my darling amount the women." This is how we should look at each other. Let no earthly relationship or endevour compete with our marriage and see what kind of passion can be awakened in your hearts in the area of sexual intimacy.